Dictionary.com helped me out with this one

Jealousy: The act of being jealous (Feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages)

This has been the state of my heart lately, I've been really upset that I don't get to hang out with all my friends anymore, I'm upset that my job is going SO SLOW and I'm scared that I won't be able to pay bills and lastly, I'm upset because I feel like I've lost some things that I'm never going to be able to get back. Being upset isn't something that happens to a "bad-ass" so instead of praying or talking about it, I've just tried to act like everything is ok but this feeling of sadness quickly turned into jealousy and now I am finding myself being irritated with everything.  My heart is so wicked and in desperate need of fixing but because I'm so stubborn I don't always want to admit it...God, I need help and not from another person or book or sermon but from you! I'm so sorry that I have been jealous of other people when I should have been excited for them! I'm sorry that I'm not trusting you with all of these things, if I'm being honest I'm not really sure what it looks like to trust you with all of this...but Lord, I do know that I just keep messing up and hurting people when I try to do things on my own. I don't want to hurt people anymore. Please forgive me for focussing on all the things that I don't have and forgetting all of the things that you have given me. Please help me understand what it looks like and means to trust you and only you! Thank you for being so patient and gentle with me, I know that I don't fully understand it but I'm so thankful for what I do understand! I love you!