Give Me Faith

Is this my third post in like ten hours? Yep...

I  love William Fitzsimmons!!! So when I heard this song I instantly fell in love! You should listen to it...for real, I'll even post the video on here so it's not too much work for you to find it! 

You Can Close Your Eyes

Well the sun is surely sinking down

But the moon is slowly rising

And this old world must still be spinning 'round

But I still love you

So close your eyes

You can close your eyes it's alright

I don't know no love songs

I can't sing the blues anymore

But I can sing this song

You can sing this song when I'm gone

It won't be long before another day

We're gonna have a good time

No one's gonna take that time away

You can stay as long as you like

So close your eyes

You can close your eyes it's alright

I don't know no love songs

I can't sing the blues anymore

But I can sing this song

You can sing this song when I'm gone

...good stuff from the J-man...

So I really love the weather right after it rains. Not when it's muggy, hot and the ground is saturated but when there is a cool breeze, it's around dinner time and the ground is damp. I was just outside with Riley and it just rained but the weather was ideal! The sky was painted with a bunch of different blues, pinks and purples and there were tons of clouds making different shapes and figures in the sky. I wanted to post a picture, but a picture wasn't able to capture it fully. It's so amazing to me that God would create something so beautiful that is, for the most part, for our enjoyment. I'm not very good at science or astronomy or anything like that but I'm pretty sure God didn't have to make the sky look so beautiful for it to serve it's purpose. I was thinking about how many other things God has created mostly for our enjoyment and there are a ton of things! Everything in nature has been created in a way that is absolutely gorgeous, sure it serves a purpose but most people simply enjoy it. For the last hour I've really been in awe of God's goodness, he continues to provide me with so many things when the only thing I deserve is Hell. He is a great guy!!!

Blue Like Jazz

Sent By Ravens

"The Best In Me"-Sent By Ravens

This room is thick with words
A mess a mess of secrets and thieves
But can't you see that we're all the same
Just vessels and we're all afraid

Forgive me I don't mean to intrude
You see my hands are shaking too

Just settle down this storm won't last forever
We're built for more than this world
I'm not that strong honestly I'm not
But you always see the best in me

Now I'm naked
At least you see me for who I am
So fragile
I wait with hope that the coming change won't blow us away

Forgive me I don't mean to intrude
You see my hands are shaking too

Just settle down this storm won't last forever
We're built for more than this world
I'm not that strong honestly I'm not
But you always see the best in me

Am I something you can be proud of now

Just settle down this storm won't last forever
We're built for more than this world
I'm not that strong honestly I'm not
But you always see the best in me

Am I something you can be proud of now

Rough like sandpaper

So the past couple days have been pretty rough. I feel like I'm walking around with this cloud of shame and guilt hanging over me and for some reason it wont go away. This caught me off guard, or so I thought. Lately I've been really stoked because I felt like I was starting to get a better understanding of what Grace meant but then the Lord showed me that I have no clue. Because I don't really understand of the severity of my sin so I really have no clue about the grace that covers it. I became aware of some people that my sin has affected, people I have barely spoken to, that were, and are still being effected by my sin. As much as I've prayed and clung to scripture I'm still absolutely humiliated when I'm around some of these people or if I even think about being around some of these people. I've been thinking and praying about this for the past couple hours and I want to praise God for it. Don't get me wrong I've gone through a bi-polar roller coaster of emotions and it wasn't until I had been mad, scared and mortified that I was able to say that I'm thankful. The more I've been able to see the effects of my sin, the more I've been able to see everything that Christ's blood covers. If this situation means that I will know Christ more then I'm ok with feeling all these really crappy things because I know that Christ is going to give me a better understanding of how great He is!
The Lord has also showed me how much I care about other people's opinions, everyday I feel like He reveals more and more of how deep this sin is rooted in me! And the really stupid part is that I don't care about peoples actual opinion, I care about what I think they are thinking...that's so freaking prideful!!! What the crap!?!?!
Father, I pray that I wouldn't be so arrogant to think that my sin is too much for Christ's blood to cover! I don't want to forfeit grace, I don't want to turn my back on something so scandalous and beautiful! Lord I pray that you would be my sole focus and that would cause me to humbly ask forgiveness to everyone that I've knowingly hurt. I want to love people and see people the way that you do-I'm so far from that right now but I ask that you would continue to remove everything in me that isn't of you and replace it with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! I love you and I'm so thankful that you can take such terrible things and turn them into good things! Thank you for not only giving me life and sustaining my life but also for giving me a Perfect example of how to live life!!!

"Keeping Pace With Planes"-Conditions

I am drowning in dry land
Distance is swallowing me
This keeps my sanity close
But far from inside of my body

Complete lunacy
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much

The world has been pulled to my feet
Closer than its ever been
This is something to live for
The beautiful mess I am in

Complete lunacy
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much

I know this feelings heaven sent
And I am so confident
I will regain my sanity
When goodbye is a memory

Complete lunacy
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much

The whole entire world
Is not enough to make my body still
And no matter of miles
Could make a mockery of iron will

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Stronger

"There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfulness
You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger!
You are stronger!
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defence
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross

You are stronger!
You are stronger!
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

So let Your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher"

Lately I've been thinking about how Christian's dwell on sin rather than the Cross. Yes, we need to understand how bad our sin is but if we don't understand the cross and Christ's love then "hating" sin just becomes a legalistic act. People don't need to be beaten with the reminder of their sin, especially if they are already beating themselves up over it. They need to be humbled to their knees because of the Cross, not hiding because of someone's words! They need to see Christ's love, and that alone should compel them to hate their sin. Not solely because it hurt other people but because it murdered The Son of God, a man who by choice took the wrath of God so that we wouldn't have to! The Cross trumps sin, when Christ defeated death, he defeated sin! I love Psalm 51, verse 4 says "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge." Not because David sinned but because he gets it...sin by definition is defiling the Glory of God! He hates his sin because he is seeing it in the right perspective!
Here is the amazing part verses 6-19 says:
"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
DAVID KNOWS THAT GOD IS BIGGER THAN HIS SIN!!! HE KNOWS GOD CAN HEAL HIM!!!
Christ is stronger, he has proved it time and time again!!! I pray that the cross is magnified in my life and because of the beautiful ugliness of it I would be broken over my sin! I pray this for everyone I come in contact with as well! I pray that we wouldn't feel like our sin is too bad or disgusting for Christ to save because that's making Christ death seem like nothing!

Father, thank you for Jesus! Your word says that it pleased you to crush him, it pleased you to sacrifice Perfection for me...I don't really have words that can express how I feel about that! It makes no sense to me but it also brings tears to my eyes to think about the Love you have to have for me in order to do that! I'm so ignorant to the price it took to pay for my sins, but God, I pray that you would make me more aware of it every day! I pray that I would be so overtaken with the thought of the cross that it would bring me to my knees every single day! I pray that you would make me more like you in my actions and my thoughts! I pray that you would increase and I would decrease! I love you Lord!

Whats up!!!

THE LORD PROVIDES-PERIOD!!!

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

I know I've recently posted the lyrics to this song but there is one verse that I have been clinging to lately. There is a version of this hymn by Ascend the Hill and I probably listen to it a couple times a day this is the last part of their version of this amazing song!

"My life is not my own
It's yours
My life is not my own
I know, it's yours...

O Cross that's lifting up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

And we will sing
Holy, Holy
Is the King of Kings
Lord we will sing
Holy Holy
Is the King of Kings(x a lot)"

This has been so worshipful for me and if you haven't heard their new album you should!

Grace

Grace-We have a really hard time understanding this word. I think it's partially due the fact that people use this word as a way to make themselves feel better for sins that they are lightly indulging in. Another reason I think that we have a hard time understanding this word is because we don't take the time to think about what it really means. Recently I heard someone describe grace as, "God dragging us out of Hell while we were kicking and screaming to stay in". I had never thought about it that way before but it made me think even more about Christ and how he restores lives. The Bible talks about God restoring or healing us over and over again, 1 Peter 5:10-"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast"; Isaiah 57:17-19 "I was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him, and hid my face in anger, yet he kept on in his willful ways. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near," says the Lord. "And I will heal them."" The verses from Isaiah are my new favorites! When I think about it, it blows my mind...God-Holy and Righteous-absolutely HATES our sin, it "enrages" him so much that he hid his face from it and God knows we love sin too much to chose him. We spit in the face of the God who created us and we live our lives in treason by caring more about worthless things that are temporary. So God hates this and knows that we willingly sin and yet he chose to HEAL us?!? That, in it's simplest form, makes no sense to me and then when I think about what God did to heal us it's even more insane!
If you are a Christian, you have heard the gospel but have you heard is so much that it's become watered down in your mind?!? Physically, Christ endured pain that I can't even imagine, I don't think I would be able to watch one of my friends or family members go through something like that-It would haunt me for the rest of my life. I normally don't think much about what Christ went through mentally, I get all worked up and my mind goes crazy if I think that one person is mad at me...most of the people that Jesus came in contact with hated him-I can't imagine! Spiritually, Christ suffered so much more than my mind can even fathom. Christ had to be separated from God in order to take our sin-This hurt so much more than all the physical and mental pain times a million! God obliterated Pure Perfection and we take that lightly! Christ's death and resurrection didn't just save us from hell, but it saved us from being slaves to sin! Christ's blood covers EVERY SIN-not just the one's that we put on the bottom of our jacked up hierarchy or the one's that we see as 'small' sins...every single one!
My prayer for my friends: Eph. 3:14-21
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
I pray that these beautiful words would be written on your heart and I pray that the Cross would become bigger to you everyday. Grace makes every breath you take possible...God's business is restoring hearts and he's really good at it! ;)

Forgiveness

Lord, I confess that I tend to accuse people in my head rather than humbly question them to their face. I come up with scenarios in my head of how I believe a situation is going to play out, I think that I know what other people are thinking and if they tell me any different my first instinct is to think they are lying. But this is the truth, Psalm 139:2-4 "You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether." Father, you are the only one who knows other people's hearts and minds. You see the most disgusting things, the things that we ourselves cringe at the thought of, and even though you absolutely hate them you choose to forgive. You, a Holy, Righteous, Just, Jealous God have chosen to forgive us for actions, thoughts, motives and desires that defile your Glorious name! Father, I pray that I fill my mind with your truth-that I would fantasize about your Resurrection, or you defeating death, or the fact that you are coming back! Please help me see people with your eyes and always think of other people as better than myself! Thank you for Jesus, thank you for forgiving me so that I'm able to forgive others! Thanks for being jealous for me and not giving up on me!

I might be a tad obsessed...

I've been watching poetry on P4CM.com and I love it!!! I absolutely LOVE this site-you should check it out if you get a chance! That's all for now! :)

Some things and people that I've missed lately...

Watching people get baptized in the Tuk!!!

Singing with this girl!

Playing ball and my teammates




My Friends...






Our team always dominating Flag football

Late night adventures in the Whee

My Bro

She is Brilliant!!!

Brooke Fraser has a new album out called"Flags"-buy it, it is amazing! If you are a fan of lyrics that make you think then you will love the album!!! These are the songs:
1. Something In The Water
2. Betty
3. Orphans, Kingdoms
4. Who Are We Fooling?
5. Ice On Her Lashes
6. Coachella
7. Jack Kerouac
8. Sailboats
9. Crows & Locusts
10. Here's To You
11. Flags

"Orphans, Kingdom" and "Crows & Locusts" are my two favorite!!! Seriously you should listen to this CD, it's great!!!

Over the past couple days I have been realizing how self absorbed we are as a World. In the last week I watched a woman at the bank flip out on the teller because he asked her to wait a second so he could finish a transaction he had already started, I heard someone complain about having a job that, for most people, is a dream job and I watched a woman become so worked-up because she was worried about what people would think of her for having ink on her hands. As I was in the car thinking about these things it made me mad, I wondered why the lady at the bank felt like it was ok to say the mean things she said and I wondered how someone could actually complain about living a life that some people would kill for! All of this time that I have wasted judging people and thinking bad of them when I should have been broken over my own selfishness! So I guess I'm writing this as more of a confession; I don't see people the way that God sees them, I don't love people like I should, I have a hard time being patient with people and I think that I have people figured out before I really know them. I'm sorry.

Lord, I confess that I am not a compassionate person, I don't treat people right and I don't see them like you do. I've only cared about myself for so long I'm not sure how to behave any different, trying to change myself has just turned me into a legalistic Pharisee. Your word says change comes from a transformed mind, so God, I pray that you would uproot any lies or half-truths that I believe and I pray that you would help me understand things from your Word so that I can replace my false beliefs with truth. I need You, not something you created. Lord, thanks for not giving up on me, for allowing me to see that you are jealous for those you've chosen. I love you.

Rest

"Rest"-Nevertheless

Hey where have you been?
Where did you go?
Looking for innocence?
Shame is holding you down,
selling you out,
won't you come back again?

'Cause you've found a way to go on for days, pretending to live
But you are not ok, with all of that weight, you need to give up

Come now just let it go,
let it fall down, let it all flow like
The water that's rushing in over your soul
'til there's nothing left
Won't you come to me and rest?

Hey I know that you're scared to look in my eyes,
When you know that something's wrong
I'll wait as long as it takes,
for you to find grace, it's been here all along

'Cause you've found a way to go on for days, pretending to live
But you are not ok, with all of that weight, you need to give up

Come now just let it go,
let it fall down, let it all flow like
The water that's rushing in over your soul
'til there's nothing left
Won't you come to me
as you are

Dirty and broken
with all of the scars,
from all the unspoken
With all the words that you wanted to say
but you locked them away inside

Come now just let it go,
let it fall down, let it all flow like
The water that's rushing in over your soul
'til there's nothing left
Won't you come to me and rest?

Look at this!!!

Go to this website...for real! Thanks!--->>http://www.steelroots.com/next/default.aspx

New pics!!!

My little man!!!



Playing :)



He's smiling because he loves me!!!

Real Talk

This is an amazing video! I watched it a couple times last year but it has new meaning to me now-I hope this gets you pretty pumped about Jesus!

Yep, another song! :)

"Daughter"-As Cities Burn

It's a shame what I thought of her
when I saw her that way.
It didn't change what you thought of her.
She's been your daughter since she was made.

Since I was made, I've been leaving.
I'd say I'd change but I wouldn't believe it.
It's 'cause my legs, they don't forget.
When they find a way out, they'll always take it.

Oooh we don't
Nooh we don't
we don't know how we got here,
the way is overgrown.
Oooh we don't
Nooh we don't
we don't know how we became this.

She has a name but I don't have to know
'cause all I'm after is all she has to show.
We cannot save, we can't even slow
our loss of innocence every new child has to grow.

Oooh we don't
Nooh we don't
we don't know how we got here,
the way is overgrown.
Oooh we don't
Nooh we don't
we don't know how we became this.

What a great song!!!

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Death In His Grave

The song 'Death In His Grave' by John Mark McMillan is my new favorite song! The words are amazing and I can't stop listening to it!!! Straight Jesus!!!

Though the Earth Cried out for blood
Satisfied her hunger was
Her billows calmed on raging seas
for the souls on men she craved

Sun and moon from balcony
Turned their head in disbelief
Their precious Love would taste the sting
disfigured and disdained

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down in grief
But awoke with keys
Of Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

So three days in darkness slept
The Morning Sun of righteousness
But rose to shame the throes of death
And over turn his rule

Now daughters and the sons of men
Would pay not their dues again
The debt of blood they owed was rent
When the day rolled a new

(Chorus)

He has cheated
Hell and seated
Us above the fall
In desperate places
He paid our wages
One time once and for all

2 Samuel 7:18-26

'Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said: "Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign Lord? "What more can David say to you? For you know your servant, O Sovereign Lord. For the sake of your word and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made it known to your servant. How great you are, O Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears. And who is like your people Israel--the one nation on earth that God went out to redeem as a people for himself, and to make a name for himself, and to perform great and awesome wonders by driving out nations and their gods from before your people, whom you redeemed from Egypt? You have established your people Israel as your very own forever, and you, O Lord, have become their God. And now, Lord God, keep forever the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house. Do as you promised, so that your name will be great forever. Then men will say, 'The Lord Almighty is God over Israel!' And the house of your servant David will be established before you.”'

Lord, help me to be in awe of you everyday and to understand the love and grace that you continue to pour out on me! God, I'm so thankful that you don't deal with me like I deserve, instead, you are patient and gracious with me...I don't understand why; why you would love and want me so much when I continue to spit in your face and take you for granted. I can't fathom why you would care about me so much that you would sacrifice perfection for evil, because without you Lord that's all I am, but Father, I want to spend the rest of my life thanking you and praising you for it!

Interesting night...

So I've taken a short trip to the Whee this week and tonight some of the girls asked me to go with them to a bible study at the Barn. The main topic of discussion was "God is Enough" but how we don't always believe it. It was good to hear truth and talk about ways to believe truth over lies that we so often believe. Afterwards Sarah, Katlyn and I got in my car to leave...this is when the night got interesting. As I started to reverse my car my back left tire began to slide down the hill. I immediately put my car in drive to try and get get my tire beck up the hill but it only made it worse. Once my car was close to a 45 degree angle we all decided we would get out incase my car flipped. We took out the things that were valuable and then thought about how to fix this little situation. For our first attempt, Katlyn got in the drivers seat and Sarah and I tried to push the car from behind...not only did this fail but as Katlyn was in the drivers seat the car's back right tire came off the ground. We all thought Katlyn was going to get caught in the car as it flipped but thank the Lord that it didn't. Our second attempt failed even worse than the first one, we took some wood and tried to use it a leverage under one of the tires in hopes that we would be able to get it out of the hole we had now made. Katlyn got in the drivers seat and I got in the passenger seat to try and put more weight on that side (I don't know why she agreed to be in that position again but she did haha). This didn't work because my car ran out of gas, actually I had a little bit of gas but because the way the car was tilted it couldn't read that I had any. At this point we decided to call Chad. About 10 min later Chad and A-Hawk show up, assess the situation, hook a chain up to my car and Chad's truck and pull it out of the hole. I'm so thankful to know guys that are amazing servants and so eager to help! Overall it was pretty interesting! haha