Rough like sandpaper

So the past couple days have been pretty rough. I feel like I'm walking around with this cloud of shame and guilt hanging over me and for some reason it wont go away. This caught me off guard, or so I thought. Lately I've been really stoked because I felt like I was starting to get a better understanding of what Grace meant but then the Lord showed me that I have no clue. Because I don't really understand of the severity of my sin so I really have no clue about the grace that covers it. I became aware of some people that my sin has affected, people I have barely spoken to, that were, and are still being effected by my sin. As much as I've prayed and clung to scripture I'm still absolutely humiliated when I'm around some of these people or if I even think about being around some of these people. I've been thinking and praying about this for the past couple hours and I want to praise God for it. Don't get me wrong I've gone through a bi-polar roller coaster of emotions and it wasn't until I had been mad, scared and mortified that I was able to say that I'm thankful. The more I've been able to see the effects of my sin, the more I've been able to see everything that Christ's blood covers. If this situation means that I will know Christ more then I'm ok with feeling all these really crappy things because I know that Christ is going to give me a better understanding of how great He is!
The Lord has also showed me how much I care about other people's opinions, everyday I feel like He reveals more and more of how deep this sin is rooted in me! And the really stupid part is that I don't care about peoples actual opinion, I care about what I think they are thinking...that's so freaking prideful!!! What the crap!?!?!
Father, I pray that I wouldn't be so arrogant to think that my sin is too much for Christ's blood to cover! I don't want to forfeit grace, I don't want to turn my back on something so scandalous and beautiful! Lord I pray that you would be my sole focus and that would cause me to humbly ask forgiveness to everyone that I've knowingly hurt. I want to love people and see people the way that you do-I'm so far from that right now but I ask that you would continue to remove everything in me that isn't of you and replace it with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! I love you and I'm so thankful that you can take such terrible things and turn them into good things! Thank you for not only giving me life and sustaining my life but also for giving me a Perfect example of how to live life!!!