John 3:30

Recently, the pride that other people thrive off of has really upset me. Because I've been around my parents a lot lately I've been irritated by their pride, they are Christians but have different ideas about the world and most of the conversations we have about these different views end up in a heated discussion. Last night my mom came to talk to me, even though I've barely given her the time of day when it comes to any spiritual conversation. I expected this one to end up just like the others-with someone getting frustrated and us still having different opinions. After we talked she left to go to bed and a couple thoughts filled my mind. One of the things she talked about was being so afraid that she would mess someone up by speaking her words and not God's words. She said she has to pray. She has to pray because she wants to do God's will and she trusts that if she asks him to help, he will. She said she was okay with not understanding everything because what she understands is enough. She wan't a jerk about it at all, she was real and honest.

How arrogant of me to call someone who pleads for Christ prideful! She knows the Lord in such a deeper way than I do but because I know more about the Lord I assumed that I was better, I assumed that I was right and everything she said that conflicted with me was wrong. The things that made me so mad about other people were the same things they were showing me grace for. I don't know when I became a Pharisee...

"Lord, I'm in no way, shape or form a humble person, nothing in my life reflects humility. I want to live life using the abilities and gifts that you've given me without giving you glory. I'm so sorry. I should know that trying to live life on my own has never led to good but I'm so ignorant and so small minded that I forget that I can't even walk without you holding my hand. God, help me understand more of who you are so I can see what I'm not. I need you to teach me what it means to be humble!"