Friday, December 31, 2010

Third blog of the day...yep

Songs I've been rocking out to today:

-"Changes"-And By Love
-"Patience"-And By Love
-"Dear Maria, Count Me In"-All Time Low
-"Check Yes Juliet"-We The Kings
-"Burn One Down"-Ben Harper
-"Chasing Cars"-Snow Partol
-"Airplanes"-Hayley Williams & B.o.B.
-"Little Lion Man"-Mumford and Sons
-"Free Fallin"-John Mayer
-"Best of You"-Foo Fighters
-"Carry On My Wayward Son"-Kansas
-"The Sound (John M. Perkins' Blues)"-Switchfoot
-"All Hail the Heartbreaker"-The Spill Canvas

HAPPY NEW YEAR...Praise the Lord for 2011!!!

Snow Patrol-"Chasing Cars"

I Love this song!!!

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

...as words spill out...

Not really sure of that anymore
Oh how the winter has taken me over.
The chill has pierced me to the core
The cold has frozen any sign of closure.
Dreaming, such foreign concept
But doubt has taken root.
Right now you just seem too far gone
And trust, I've found no substitute.

What should have been love, Lost
One defiled thought=the cost.

"It will get better", I hear them say,
You must be sad to know the loss of faith.
To watch this habit of hiding my face,
All the while throwing up grace...
My heart right now,
Is too thin to skate.
And I don't know
Another way to escape.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

One of those days.

Its like I'm breathing in air
that's causing me to suffocate,
And holding on to anything
gripping tight to find my place.
Just strike a match
To watch it burn,
Hope the shadows
Cover things unlearned.
This open sky
Makes me feel so small,
The drunken mess
To cope with it all.
There's a chance that I remember
Every word of every line,
But I can't seem to keep away
The pictures that fill my mind.

I never thought it would come to this,
But now it seems so obvious.
Lost and left with broken hearts,
Looking for a new way to start.
All the time's been wasted now,
I'm scared to see what I've allowed.
And how my soul's been broken down,
I just wish that I could figure it out...

Saturday, December 25, 2010

In Need

In need of grace,
In need of love,
In need of mercy raining down from high above
In need of strength,
In need of peace,
In need of things that only You can give to me
In need of Christ,
The perfect lamb,
My refuge strong,
The great I Am
This is my song,
My humble plea,
I am Your child,
I am in need

My thoughts

I really want Jesus to come back and make everything right again.

That's all I've been thinking for the last couple days. I doubt this is really a true blog post but whatever.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Stolen Blog...

This is stolen from another website but I thought it was really cool...


I am going to write some things on suffering that I’ve learned of late. The first writing will just be based on scripture. I thought a good place to start is to look at what God has to say on the subject. The next writing will focus more on personal stories of suffering.
Scripture on God’s purpose in our sufferings (Adapted from When God Weeps by Joni Eareakson Tada and Steve Estes)
Suffering is used to increase our awareness of the sustaining power of God to whom we owe everything (Psalm 68:19).
Suffering is used by God to refine, perfect, strengthen, and keep us from falling (Hebrews 2:10).
Suffering allows the life of Christ to be manifested in our mortal flesh
(2 Corinthians 4:7-11).
Suffering bankrupts us, making us dependent on God (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Suffering teaches us humility (2 Corinthians 12:7).
Suffering teaches us that God is more concerned with character than comfort (Romans 5:3-5).
Suffering imparts the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:1-11).
Suffering teaches us that the greatest good of the Christian life is not absence of pain but Christ-likeness (2 Corinthians 4:8-10, Romans 8:28-29).
Suffering can be a punishment from God for sin and rebellion (Psalm 107:17).
Obedience and self-control are learned from suffering (Hebrews 5:8, Psalm 119:67, James 1:2-8, Philippians 3:10).
Voluntary suffering is one way to show the love of God (2 Corinthians 8:1-2, 9).
Suffering is part of the struggle against sin (Hebrews 12:4-13).
Suffering is part of the struggle against evil men (Psalm 27:12).
Suffering is part of the struggle for the kingdom of God (2 Thessalonians 1:5).
Suffering is part of the struggle for the gospel (2 Timothy 2:8-9).
Suffering is part of the struggle against injustice (1 Peter 2:19).
Suffering is part of the struggle for the name of Christ (Acts 5:41).
Suffering indicates how we can share in Christ’s suffering (2 Corinthians 1:5).
Endurance of suffering is a cause for reward (2 Timothy 2:12).
Suffering binds Christians together (Revelation 1:9).
Suffering teaches us God’s statues (Psalm 119:66-67, 71).
Suffering causes us to discipline our minds by making us focus on our hope on the grace to be revealed at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:6, 13).
God uses suffering to humble us at the right time (I Peter 5:6-7).
Suffering is sometimes necessary to win the lost (2 Timothy 2:8-10, 4:5-6).
Suffering strengthens us and allows us to comfort others who are weak.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-11).
Suffering is small in comparison to the value of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8).
Suffering teaches us to give thanks in times of sorrow (1 Thessalonians 5:18, 2 Corinthians 1:11)
Suffering increases faith (Jeremiah 29:11).
Suffering stretches our hope (Job 13:14-15).

Friday, December 17, 2010

Hahahahaha

"Hosea"-Jacob & Lily

Its been a long time since weve made love
Its been a long time since weve even touched
But your heart is wild and your eyes they wonder why do I miss you
And you promised me that we’d last forever
You promised me that we’d stick together
But your heart is wild and your eyes they wonder why do I miss you

And it’s a fast deep slow found wonder
Don’t know where it started or what went wrong
Could you carry me through the fire into the deepest part of river

I remember the summer and that sweet rain,
moments of silence moments of pain
But your heart is wild and your eyes they wonder why do I miss you

And now your satisfied with half as much,
I see you justified on your homemade crutch
But your heart is wild and your eyes they wonder why do I miss you

And it’s a fast deep slow found wonder
Don’t know where it started or what went wrong
Could you carry me through the fire into the deepest part of river

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

"Circles"-Switchfoot

Another day
Another sunrise
Another factory call
Another night
Another sunset
Another freefall

Am I alive?
Am I on purpose?
Within the weakness
Within the weakness...

Spinning out in circles
In circles, in circles
Spinning out in circles
In circles, in circles

Another day
Another lifetime
Another engine stalls
Another line
Another freeway
Another freefall

I've lost all that I wanted to leave
I've lost all that I wanted to be
Don't believe that there's nothing that's true
Don't believe in this modern machine!
The modern machine

In circles

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Rubix Cube

Right now my life feels a lot like a Rubix Cube...frustrating and unsolvable!
I feel like the Lord keeps revealing these mini revelations to me and I get so excited because I think that I'm a little bit closer to figuring out why I'm so screwed up but then that mini revelation just leads the realization that there are about a bazillion more mini revelations I need to be revealed to me. And if that weren't frustrating enough, the more things I realize the harder it's been to come to grips with each of them. Not the funnest but definitely the most "real" my life has ever been and words can't express how thankful I am that God is so patient with me. I've been expecting him to throw in the towel and he doesn't...I don't think I'll ever understand why...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Your Love is a Song-Switchfoot

I hear you breathing in
Another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading now, fading out

I've been keeping my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running through me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, running to me

Oh, your love is a song

The dawn is fire bright
Against the city lights
The clouds are glowing now
The moon is blacking out, is blacking out

So I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open, yeah

Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running to me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, and into me

Oh, your love is a song
Your love is a song
Oh, your love is a song
Your love is strong

With my eyes wide open
I've got my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken
Yeah, yeah

Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running through me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, running to me

Your love is a song
Yeah, yeah
Your love is my remedy
Oh, your love is a song

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Something I wish I hadn't thought

I'm a coward and I find myself trying desperately to disprove this. But the more mind-twisting manipulations that remain dedicated to my idol of self simply show that I'm more of a coward than I allow myself to even realize. I'm terrified of the day that I see just how scared I really am because when that day comes i'll wonder if any of my motives or desires have ever been for anyone other than myself...

If that day ever comes, I will either really understand grace or realize that I don't really get it at all...but I think the really bad part is that I'm not sure what my response would be to either scenario.

I kind-of wish that I had never thought this, it hurts my pride too much.

Monday, November 29, 2010

This is brilliant!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Hilarious!!!

vrjbdhiduhSHUNzxjieuwndnhf

Dictionary.com: shun-to keep away from, from motives of dislike, caution, etc; take pains to avoid.

Marriam Webster: shun-to avoid deliberately and especially habitually

Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, 3rd edition: shun-
1. To keep away from:avoid, burke, bypass, circumvent, dodge, duck, elude, escape, eschew, evade, get around
2. To slight (someone) deliberately: cut, rebuff, snub, spurn, informal coldshoulder. Idioms: close/shut the door on, give someone the cold shoulder, turn one’s back on. 

I'm so glad that Christ doesn't treat us like this when we knowingly and willingly do it to him! I don't deserve to take one breath or one step but God allows me to anyway. I'll never understand what I truly deserve because instead of shunning me God decided to turn his back on his son. For some reason He believed that my life was worth saving, he believed that my life was worth watching a perfect man be torn to pieces. That doesn't make sense to me, but His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I believe that the only reason why people continue to "shun" others is because of pride, Jesus never shunned people because he cared more about God than himself. To be shunned by God is the worst thing I can think of.

Father, forgive me for being bitter with people and for tuning my back on people when I have been called to love them. I'm so sorry that my pride causes me to act like such an inconsiderate jerk and I'm sorry that most of the time it didn't even bother me. I know that I still wouldn't care if it wasn't for you're grace and I'm so thankful for that! Please show me how to love like you, show me what it means to die to myself. This morning I heard a pastor say "we are all for grace until we have to extend it to others". This is true for me, so God I need you to keep teaching what it means to extend grace to other people and to extend it often!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Stolen Blog from J.D. Greear

I am writing with an urgent request and a call to immediate action.
Sayed Mossa is a new believer in Afghanistan who is in jail in Afghanistan because he decided, of his own free choice, to follow Jesus. In this letter he managed to smuggle out through the hands of a Westerner, he describes daily beatings, torture, and sexual molestation. He stands to be executed for his decision to follow Jesus next week. He has a wife and 6 children, one of whom is disabled.
Part of me flushes with anger when I consider the price America has paid to help Afghanistan escape from the Taliban, and think that this is how the new government treats its own people. Is this what we sacrificed to produce? Is freedom of conscience and freedom of speech not a fundamental right of human beings everywhere?
Here is what I am asking you to do:
  1. Pray. Like the early church for Peter in Acts 12. Summit Church, this is our brother. This is a father with children. He is being imprisoned and faces execution for doing what we do freely each Sunday. Pray that Sayed will be released and that he will not falter under persecution.
  2. Write your Congressman or Senator. Put feet to your prayers. President Obama and our government can put pressure on President Karzai to release him. That was worked before. As this article explains, all it will take is a nod from President Karzai and he would be released. You can contact the White House or write to your state representative. This past Sunday was the national Sunday to pray for the persecuted church; this is a good way to put that into action.
  3. To my Muslim friends who may be reading this blog, can I ask that you do what you can to call for a stay on this execution and full religious freedom in Afghanistan? I was with several of you last week at the Global Faith Forum in Keller, Tx, where you were clear that you cherished the freedom of religion we all enjoy in America. You said that you wished that majority Muslim nations enjoyed the same freedom. I believed you when you said that. Now would be the time for you to do something about that. It is one thing for Christians to call for a stay on this execution; it would be even more powerful if you would do it. His life is in your hands.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Take the World but give me Jesus-Ascend the Hill


Take the world, but give me Jesus,

All its joys are but a name;

But His love abideth ever,

Through eternal years the same.

Take the world, but give me Jesus,

Sweetest comfort of my soul;

With my Savior watching over me,

I can sing though billows roll.

Take the world, but give me Jesus,

Let me view His constant smile;

Then throughout my lifelong journey

He will lead me all the while.

Take the world, but give me Jesus

In His cross my trust shall be,

Till, with clearer, brighter vision,

Face to face my Lord I see.

Take the world but give me Jesus

Oh the height and depth of mercy
Oh the length and breadth of love
Oh the fullness of redemption
Pledge of endless life above!

Ascend the Hill has an amazing version of this hymn...you can download the entire CD for free if you go to this website!!!
http://comeandlive.com/downloads

Untitled

I don’t know just what to say
To all I’ve taken in
I don’t know just how to feel
But I know you’re more that this.
And honestly, it breaks my heart
To see you walk away
I know you say it’s not for good
But somehow truth has lost its place…

I’m so sorry now
That everything you’re losing here
Is all that you’ve allowed.
Oh how I’ll pray for you to see
I know you say that you’re ok
But you’re pride keeps pressing repeat.

The words I spoke to you, I pray
Were never from my mind
Cause all our thoughts are tangled up
And How I should remind
Myself, with every step I take
That evil’s been killing me inside.
All He simply asks of you
Is to give it up cause its not your life.

Your drowning in lies
And you ask me why
I Believed
In something that I cannot see
I guess the view is better
Faced down, on my knees
Broken before the King.


You are more
Then what you give yourself credit for
Yeah, you are more
Because your life has been spoken for
And you are more
Then these pieces you think cant be restored
He has made you more
Because He loves you more…then she ever could. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

This made me laugh A LOT!!!

This is a tad inappropriate but it is SO freaking funny!!! I've watched it like 10 times in the last hour!!!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dictionary.com helped me out with this one

Jealousy: The act of being jealous (Feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages)

This has been the state of my heart lately, I've been really upset that I don't get to hang out with all my friends anymore, I'm upset that my job is going SO SLOW and I'm scared that I won't be able to pay bills and lastly, I'm upset because I feel like I've lost some things that I'm never going to be able to get back. Being upset isn't something that happens to a "bad-ass" so instead of praying or talking about it, I've just tried to act like everything is ok but this feeling of sadness quickly turned into jealousy and now I am finding myself being irritated with everything.  My heart is so wicked and in desperate need of fixing but because I'm so stubborn I don't always want to admit it...God, I need help and not from another person or book or sermon but from you! I'm so sorry that I have been jealous of other people when I should have been excited for them! I'm sorry that I'm not trusting you with all of these things, if I'm being honest I'm not really sure what it looks like to trust you with all of this...but Lord, I do know that I just keep messing up and hurting people when I try to do things on my own. I don't want to hurt people anymore. Please forgive me for focussing on all the things that I don't have and forgetting all of the things that you have given me. Please help me understand what it looks like and means to trust you and only you! Thank you for being so patient and gentle with me, I know that I don't fully understand it but I'm so thankful for what I do understand! I love you!              

Watch my Bro act it up!!!

http://www.steelroots.com/videos/would-you-like-fries-with-that

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Amazing Because It Is-The Almost

I was so scared of everything you put in front of me
I've been arching every part of me
Just to see
See
Why you need me to be
The boy you need me to be

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
And now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

I just wanna see

I'm the type of person who lets fear drive
I'm the type of guy who lets it drive
Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy,
I'm lost without you
I need you
I need you

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Amazing grace (amazing grace)
How sweet the sound (how sweet)
That saved a wretch like me (that saved a wretch like me)
I once was lost
But now I'm found (you know I'm found)
Was blind but now I see

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

He is Exalted

He is exalted
The King is exalted on high
And I will praise Him
He is exalted
Forever exalted
And I will praise His Name

He is the Lord
Forever His truth shall reign
Heaven and earth
Rejoice in His holy Name
He is exalted the King is exalted on high

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Oh Christian Radio stations...

About a week ago I was listening to a sermon on the radio in the car (I know a bunch of people just judged me). A pastor was talking about his encounter with an older woman in their church, he said that the woman was pretty old (I pictured a woman about 75 because he never gave an exact age) and that she was battling bone marrow cancer. He explained how this cancer was probably the most painful and how it was quickly wearing this woman down. He said he saw her that morning and told her that he and the rest of the church staff were praying for her, her response caught him off guard. She asked the pastor what they were praying and he told her they had prayed for healing and strength. The woman thanked the pastor but asked if they could add one more thing to their prayers for her. She asked if they could pray that she wouldn't waste this. When I heard this I sat with my mouth opened for about a minute! I just kept thinking that this woman mind was wrapped around the Lord so tightly, she could probably get away with self pity very easily but she isn't focused on herself. Over the past couple months the Lord has done almost everything he can do to get me to see how selfish I am, he keeps tearing away all the things that I've put before him to show me that he is better but instead of thinking "Lord, please don't let me waste this", I've been thinking "this sucks".
God, forgive me for being so selfish. I know I will probably never really understand how selfish I am but I pray that by your grace, you would increase and I would decrease. This isn't about me, it isn't about other people, it's about you! I've said those words before but now I feel like you have given me such a better understanding of what they mean. 
I don't want to keep looking back at this mess I've made, I want to be focused on you and trust you to help me clean all this up! You say “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” I know I'm going to screw up...probably a whole stinking lot but I want to mess up running after you, not because I took my eyes off you. 
I don't want to care about how other people think of me or what other people are saying about me. I don't want to care but those thoughts are consuming my mind. Your word says this, "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge". God, I know that ultimately I have only sinned against you. Thank you for not giving up on me when you would have been completely justified to. Thank you for wanting me even when I didn't want you. Thank you for loving me even when I intentionally treat you badly. The words "I Love You" seem so worthless when I say them because I'm starting to understand what you mean when you say them, and the more I learn, the more I'm blown away. But I do Love you and it makes me excited to know that the more I learn about your love the better i'll be able to love you and other people! Father, please don't let me waste one second of this on myself!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Is this my third post in like ten hours? Yep...

I  love William Fitzsimmons!!! So when I heard this song I instantly fell in love! You should listen to it...for real, I'll even post the video on here so it's not too much work for you to find it! 

You Can Close Your Eyes

Well the sun is surely sinking down
But the moon is slowly rising
And this old world must still be spinning 'round
But I still love you

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes it's alright
I don't know no love songs
I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
You can sing this song when I'm gone

It won't be long before another day
We're gonna have a good time
No one's gonna take that time away
You can stay as long as you like

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes it's alright
I don't know no love songs
I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
You can sing this song when I'm gone

Monday, October 25, 2010

...good stuff from the J-man...

So I really love the weather right after it rains. Not when it's muggy, hot and the ground is saturated but when there is a cool breeze, it's around dinner time and the ground is damp. I was just outside with Riley and it just rained but the weather was ideal! The sky was painted with a bunch of different blues, pinks and purples and there were tons of clouds making different shapes and figures in the sky. I wanted to post a picture, but a picture wasn't able to capture it fully. It's so amazing to me that God would create something so beautiful that is, for the most part, for our enjoyment. I'm not very good at science or astronomy or anything like that but I'm pretty sure God didn't have to make the sky look so beautiful for it to serve it's purpose. I was thinking about how many other things God has created mostly for our enjoyment and there are a ton of things! Everything in nature has been created in a way that is absolutely gorgeous, sure it serves a purpose but most people simply enjoy it. For the last hour I've really been in awe of God's goodness, he continues to provide me with so many things when the only thing I deserve is Hell. He is a great guy!!!

Blue Like Jazz

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sent By Ravens

"The Best In Me"-Sent By Ravens

This room is thick with words
A mess a mess of secrets and thieves
But can't you see that we're all the same
Just vessels and we're all afraid

Forgive me I don't mean to intrude
You see my hands are shaking too

Just settle down this storm won't last forever
We're built for more than this world
I'm not that strong honestly I'm not
But you always see the best in me

Now I'm naked
At least you see me for who I am
So fragile
I wait with hope that the coming change won't blow us away

Forgive me I don't mean to intrude
You see my hands are shaking too

Just settle down this storm won't last forever
We're built for more than this world
I'm not that strong honestly I'm not
But you always see the best in me

Am I something you can be proud of now

Just settle down this storm won't last forever
We're built for more than this world
I'm not that strong honestly I'm not
But you always see the best in me

Am I something you can be proud of now

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Rough like sandpaper

So the past couple days have been pretty rough. I feel like I'm walking around with this cloud of shame and guilt hanging over me and for some reason it wont go away. This caught me off guard, or so I thought. Lately I've been really stoked because I felt like I was starting to get a better understanding of what Grace meant but then the Lord showed me that I have no clue. Because I don't really understand of the severity of my sin so I really have no clue about the grace that covers it. I became aware of some people that my sin has affected, people I have barely spoken to, that were, and are still being effected by my sin. As much as I've prayed and clung to scripture I'm still absolutely humiliated when I'm around some of these people or if I even think about being around some of these people. I've been thinking and praying about this for the past couple hours and I want to praise God for it. Don't get me wrong I've gone through a bi-polar roller coaster of emotions and it wasn't until I had been mad, scared and mortified that I was able to say that I'm thankful. The more I've been able to see the effects of my sin, the more I've been able to see everything that Christ's blood covers. If this situation means that I will know Christ more then I'm ok with feeling all these really crappy things because I know that Christ is going to give me a better understanding of how great He is!
The Lord has also showed me how much I care about other people's opinions, everyday I feel like He reveals more and more of how deep this sin is rooted in me! And the really stupid part is that I don't care about peoples actual opinion, I care about what I think they are thinking...that's so freaking prideful!!! What the crap!?!?!
Father, I pray that I wouldn't be so arrogant to think that my sin is too much for Christ's blood to cover! I don't want to forfeit grace, I don't want to turn my back on something so scandalous and beautiful! Lord I pray that you would be my sole focus and that would cause me to humbly ask forgiveness to everyone that I've knowingly hurt. I want to love people and see people the way that you do-I'm so far from that right now but I ask that you would continue to remove everything in me that isn't of you and replace it with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! I love you and I'm so thankful that you can take such terrible things and turn them into good things! Thank you for not only giving me life and sustaining my life but also for giving me a Perfect example of how to live life!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

"Keeping Pace With Planes"-Conditions

I am drowning in dry land
Distance is swallowing me
This keeps my sanity close
But far from inside of my body

Complete lunacy
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much


The world has been pulled to my feet
Closer than its ever been
This is something to live for
The beautiful mess I am in

Complete lunacy
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much


I know this feelings heaven sent
And I am so confident
I will regain my sanity
When goodbye is a memory

Complete lunacy
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much


The whole entire world
Is not enough to make my body still
And no matter of miles
Could make a mockery of iron will

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Stronger

"There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfulness
You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger!
You are stronger!
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defence
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross

You are stronger!
You are stronger!
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

So let Your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher"

Lately I've been thinking about how Christian's dwell on sin rather than the Cross. Yes, we need to understand how bad our sin is but if we don't understand the cross and Christ's love then "hating" sin just becomes a legalistic act. People don't need to be beaten with the reminder of their sin, especially if they are already beating themselves up over it. They need to be humbled to their knees because of the Cross, not hiding because of someone's words! They need to see Christ's love, and that alone should compel them to hate their sin. Not solely because it hurt other people but because it murdered The Son of God, a man who by choice took the wrath of God so that we wouldn't have to! The Cross trumps sin, when Christ defeated death, he defeated sin! I love Psalm 51, verse 4 says "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge." Not because David sinned but because he gets it...sin by definition is defiling the Glory of God! He hates his sin because he is seeing it in the right perspective!
Here is the amazing part verses 6-19 says:
"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
DAVID KNOWS THAT GOD IS BIGGER THAN HIS SIN!!! HE KNOWS GOD CAN HEAL HIM!!!
Christ is stronger, he has proved it time and time again!!! I pray that the cross is magnified in my life and because of the beautiful ugliness of it I would be broken over my sin! I pray this for everyone I come in contact with as well! I pray that we wouldn't feel like our sin is too bad or disgusting for Christ to save because that's making Christ death seem like nothing!

Father, thank you for Jesus! Your word says that it pleased you to crush him, it pleased you to sacrifice Perfection for me...I don't really have words that can express how I feel about that! It makes no sense to me but it also brings tears to my eyes to think about the Love you have to have for me in order to do that! I'm so ignorant to the price it took to pay for my sins, but God, I pray that you would make me more aware of it every day! I pray that I would be so overtaken with the thought of the cross that it would bring me to my knees every single day! I pray that you would make me more like you in my actions and my thoughts! I pray that you would increase and I would decrease! I love you Lord!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Whats up!!!

THE LORD PROVIDES-PERIOD!!!

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

I know I've recently posted the lyrics to this song but there is one verse that I have been clinging to lately. There is a version of this hymn by Ascend the Hill and I probably listen to it a couple times a day this is the last part of their version of this amazing song!

"My life is not my own
It's yours
My life is not my own
I know, it's yours...

O Cross that's lifting up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

And we will sing
Holy, Holy
Is the King of Kings
Lord we will sing
Holy Holy
Is the King of Kings(x a lot)"

This has been so worshipful for me and if you haven't heard their new album you should!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Grace

Grace-We have a really hard time understanding this word. I think it's partially due the fact that people use this word as a way to make themselves feel better for sins that they are lightly indulging in. Another reason I think that we have a hard time understanding this word is because we don't take the time to think about what it really means. Recently I heard someone describe grace as, "God dragging us out of Hell while we were kicking and screaming to stay in". I had never thought about it that way before but it made me think even more about Christ and how he restores lives. The Bible talks about God restoring or healing us over and over again, 1 Peter 5:10-"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast"; Isaiah 57:17-19 "I was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him, and hid my face in anger, yet he kept on in his willful ways. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near," says the Lord. "And I will heal them."" The verses from Isaiah are my new favorites! When I think about it, it blows my mind...God-Holy and Righteous-absolutely HATES our sin, it "enrages" him so much that he hid his face from it and God knows we love sin too much to chose him. We spit in the face of the God who created us and we live our lives in treason by caring more about worthless things that are temporary. So God hates this and knows that we willingly sin and yet he chose to HEAL us?!? That, in it's simplest form, makes no sense to me and then when I think about what God did to heal us it's even more insane!
If you are a Christian, you have heard the gospel but have you heard is so much that it's become watered down in your mind?!? Physically, Christ endured pain that I can't even imagine, I don't think I would be able to watch one of my friends or family members go through something like that-It would haunt me for the rest of my life. I normally don't think much about what Christ went through mentally, I get all worked up and my mind goes crazy if I think that one person is mad at me...most of the people that Jesus came in contact with hated him-I can't imagine! Spiritually, Christ suffered so much more than my mind can even fathom. Christ had to be separated from God in order to take our sin-This hurt so much more than all the physical and mental pain times a million! God obliterated Pure Perfection and we take that lightly! Christ's death and resurrection didn't just save us from hell, but it saved us from being slaves to sin! Christ's blood covers EVERY SIN-not just the one's that we put on the bottom of our jacked up hierarchy or the one's that we see as 'small' sins...every single one!
My prayer for my friends: Eph. 3:14-21
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
I pray that these beautiful words would be written on your heart and I pray that the Cross would become bigger to you everyday. Grace makes every breath you take possible...God's business is restoring hearts and he's really good at it! ;)

Friday, October 15, 2010

Forgiveness

Lord, I confess that I tend to accuse people in my head rather than humbly question them to their face. I come up with scenarios in my head of how I believe a situation is going to play out, I think that I know what other people are thinking and if they tell me any different my first instinct is to think they are lying. But this is the truth, Psalm 139:2-4 "You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether." Father, you are the only one who knows other people's hearts and minds. You see the most disgusting things, the things that we ourselves cringe at the thought of, and even though you absolutely hate them you choose to forgive. You, a Holy, Righteous, Just, Jealous God have chosen to forgive us for actions, thoughts, motives and desires that defile your Glorious name! Father, I pray that I fill my mind with your truth-that I would fantasize about your Resurrection, or you defeating death, or the fact that you are coming back! Please help me see people with your eyes and always think of other people as better than myself! Thank you for Jesus, thank you for forgiving me so that I'm able to forgive others! Thanks for being jealous for me and not giving up on me!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I might be a tad obsessed...

I've been watching poetry on P4CM.com and I love it!!! I absolutely LOVE this site-you should check it out if you get a chance! That's all for now! :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Some things and people that I've missed lately...

Watching people get baptized in the Tuk!!!

Singing with this girl!

Playing ball and my teammates




My Friends...






Our team always dominating Flag football

Late night adventures in the Whee

My Bro